On August 4, 2020 an explosion ripped through the city of Beirut. The explosion itself was catastrophic and it's shockwave that caused even more devastation - damage that included knocking down walls, flipping cars (even a cruise ship) and blowing out windows over a mile (2km) from the blast.
The explosion was caused by over 2700 tons of ammonium nitrate which had been stored for 6 years in a port warehouse after the ship carrying it was deemed not to be seaworthy. When the efforts to determine who was responsible for its removal stalled out, this ticking time bomb sat in a warehouse... waiting. In the end, the blast killed over 200 people, injured more than 5,000 and left hundreds of thousands of people homeless. It was reported that blast was heard in Cyprus; over 125 miles away!
This tragedy is compounded by the fact that ammonium nitrate is a chemical compound that is used as fertilizer - which means that this substance that caused so much devastation could have been a blessing to the farmers of that nation if it had been disposed of properly! The problem of disposing of this much ammonium nitrate was complex, and dealing with it would be costly in time, resources and reputation - so it was easier just to leave it in the warehouse. So it just sat there. Hidden. Until that fateful day when an accidental fire set it off.
Most of us don't have 2700 tons of ammonium nitrate hidden in a warehouse, but most of us DO have problems that we're not dealing with because we deem it to be too expensive, too complicated or too embarrassing to deal with.
I won't presume to know what your ammonium nitrate is, but I know that there's nothing too complicated, too ugly, too scary or too big for God to handle. Don't let an accidental fire destroy your life because you were afraid of getting ignored, rejected, or abused, but let the Lover of your Soul disarm the shame of your ammonium nitrate and let him use it to help you grow.
The thing that activates the potentially destructive substance of our life to be a catalyst for growth is our faith. Faith that Jesus was serious when He said "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." Faith that Jesus was serious when He said that if we trust Him with our lives, he will give us EVERLASTING life.
May Gods Grace abound to you as you endeavor to know Him and Trust him with your "ammonium nitrate."